Embracing Holiday Minimalism: 8 Ways I Save My Sanity for Happier Holidays

Hi. My name is Karen, and I am a holiday minimalist. 

I wasn't always this way. In fact, I used to go all-out, doing all the things and being all holiday things to all people. I thought that I was making holiday magic, but what I was really doing was wearing myself out.

These days, I approach the holidays in a whole new way. I've pared down all of my holiday busywork in order to focus on what really matters: friends, family, and the Christmas spirit. And in doing so, I think I've found the secret to true holiday magic. 

I've actually been doing this for years — and not just during the holidays. It was especially lovely when the kids were small.

I'm a morning person anyway, so I rise 30 to 60 minutes before everyone else, which gives me time to do "me" stuff — whether it's meditating, reading a book, sipping a cup of tea, snuggling with a pet, or working out, these early morning interludes anchor my day and help me start every day feeling calm and peaceful.

I know this is probably controversial, but I opted out of Christmas cards years ago. It was one of the best holiday decisions I ever made.

I slowly tapered down my card-sending list over a few years until it contained zero. I still make a point to touch base with the people who matter the most to me, but I do it in more personal ways through FaceTime or Zoom chats, personal visits, or fun outings together. And since I'm not stressing about getting all my cards done, I enjoy it so much more. 

I love holiday decor, and I used to go all-out in decking my own halls. But in recent years, I've pared down significantly. Now, I put out a few carefully curated and meaningful decorations that make me smile (although with four four-month-old kittens, we may skip even that this year), but I don't need every corner or every surface crammed with meaningless Christmas stuff that I have to take down a month later.

I love this minimalist approach to Christmas decorating. It gives me breathing space in my sanctuary, and I still have a few beautiful items in my space to remind me of the spirit of Christmas.

If I want to be dazzled by Christmas bling, I pack up whatever friends or family members are around, and we head out in the car on a hunt for other people's abundant displays of Christmas cheer, looking for those well-lighted houses you can see from space.

We turn on a Christmas Spotify playlist in the car and rate every house on a scale of 1-10 (I'm a super tough judge). It's such a great way to spend fun, low-pressure time with friends and family during the holidays, and in our family, it has become a tradition we look forward to every year. 

Like 10 gazillion other people, I used to head to Costco at least once on Saturdays during the holidays. After all, it's a great place for gifts and holiday fare. And it was always an absolute madhouse.

Even my normal trick of getting there just as they opened didn't help during the holidays. I'd be there for ages — looking for parking, dodging the aisle cloggers eating all the food samples, standing in line forever to check out. It was so stressful! Who needs all that when you already have so much on your plate?

So now, a few weeks before Thanksgiving, I stock up on the Costco stuff that I want for the holidays. I freeze the foods I buy to pull out later. And I stay the heck away from Costco and other big box stores until after the new year. Might I be missing out on something totally cool at Costco during those weeks when I avoid it? Sure. Do I care? Not even a little. The crowds and stress just aren't worth it.

Nope. No thanks. No deal is worth it. They could be selling 75" OLED TVs for $1, and it still wouldn't change my mind. That's how I feel about Black Friday. Instead, I spend Thanksgiving night and the day after Thanksgiving with the people I love doing stuff I want to do. 

To buy Christmas gifts, I either shop for people early, visit local establishments or craft fairs to find super cute one-of-a-kind gifts, or I shop online. I said it before, and I'll say it again: The crowds and the stress just aren't worth it.

Related: 6 Reasons Why I'm Skipping Black Friday & You Should, Too

To be fair, this one sort of happened organically and out of necessity. I love baking and always have. But about 15 years ago, I was diagnosed with celiac disease and a dairy allergy. I can't have flour in my kitchen at all, and I'm not a fan of gluten-free baking (I think that a lot of it tastes kind of cardboardy).

So, I may bake one or two things for the holidays, but I'm definitely not spending the hours and hours I used to. Sometimes, I miss it. But it has also helped me realize that I don't have to bake all the things every Christmas, and even when I don't, we don't really miss it at all. 

I love designing and creating jewelry. It's happy time I spend just sort of connecting with the universe and thinking about the person I'm making the jewelry for.

Handmade jewelry makes such lovely, bespoke gifts that come from the heart. Do people probably know they're getting jewelry? Yeah — it might not be a huge surprise. But I have such love in my heart as I create it, and it always gives me so much joy to spend quiet time away from the hustle and bustle doing something I love.

Don't make jewelry? There's all sorts of stuff you can craft for holiday gifts, from fiber arts like sewing or crocheting to making homemade jam to making soap or candles... if you build it, you can gift it. It's such a lovely way to create some peace in your life, especially if you start well in advance of the holidays.

True story: if I wrap a present, it looks like it was done by either a toddler or a cat. I've tried to make them pretty, but they always come out looking a mess. So I outsource wrapping. The gifts look way better, and I've carved a little extra time for myself. Win-win.

If you've made it this far, you've probably noticed a theme. In order to find more calm during the holidays, I've opted out of a lot of the (to me) meaningless busywork that makes the holidays feel so nuts.

Initially, I felt a little guilty about that because I wasn't meeting a cultural norm. After all, this wasn't how I was raised — not sending Christmas cards or baking all the things. But then I realized something super important. Everyone gets to choose how to celebrate the holidays, including me.

I suspect that nobody even notices that they haven't received a holiday card from us in years (plus, it's a win for saving paper and trees), and I'm sure they get a lot of cards from other people anyway. My family still has holiday goodies available if they want them — I'm just not spending days in the kitchen creating every holiday treat ever that took us months to eat and that I never ate myself. And certainly, nobody hates that there's one less person to fight for parking spaces and places in line during busy holiday shopping. 

Instead, I focus my time on finding meaningful ways to celebrate that keep the spirit of the holidays alive. I celebrate my way, and dang it, I refuse to feel guilty about that.

By embracing holiday minimalism, I'm able to be more present with the people and things I love all throughout the season. And in doing so, I enjoy the holidays so much more than when I was putting a ton of pressure on myself to be all holiday things to all people. We still have a lovely Christmas season, and I emerge on the other side with my sanity intact. And that's the best holiday gift I can imagine.