Gratitude has gotten me through some of the toughest times in my life, and I find myself leaning on it whenever this world seem challenging. It all started 16 years ago when I had a rare type of cancer that required major abdominal surgery. I was terrified I would die, leaving my autistic one-year-old before I had time to help him. The surgery was terrifying, too, but I knew I had no choice.
On Thanksgiving Day, I found myself in intensive care. The surgery had gone well, though I had months of recovery ahead. My roommate had survived a fire, jumping from a second-story window and breaking both her legs and her back. You might think the mood in our hospital room was bleak, but it was the opposite. We were both so grateful to be alive. Every little thing brought us so much joy.
Over the years, I've tried to hang on to that sense of appreciation. It's not always easy, especially when I'm really tired or sad, but I've found it's truly the key to being resilient and getting through the tough times with grace. Here's how I tap into my gratitude on a daily basis.
I Stop What I'm Doing (Literally)
When I sense myself getting anxious or feeling down, I literally make myself stop whatever I'm doing. I put down the dishes I'm washing or the dinner I'm pulling out of the oven. I stop typing at the computer, pause putting on my makeup, or stand still in the middle of the living room with the vacuum. That pause is important because it lets me look at my task as part of the bigger picture.
When you're dealing with the little stuff life throws at you, it's hard to see what's good. The pause lets you reframe it. You realize the chore of cooking means you're lucky to have food. The pile of work to do means you're lucky enough to have work. You can turn almost any task into gratitude when you take a sec to look at it as part of a whole.
I Thank Someone in My Life
Expressing your appreciation lets me notice it myself. I'm not talking about writing a long letter or having a huge phone conversation about everything someone has done for me (nothing wrong with those things, but there's only so much time in the day). I'm just talking about a simple "thanks" a couple of times a day.
I thank my kids for helping out with chores or for going above and beyond at school. I thank my spouse for his hard work that day or for listening when I talk about what's bothering me. It doesn't matter who you thank or how small a thing you're appreciating; it's just the focus on appreciation that matters.
I Tune in to My Senses
Mindfulness is easy to talk about but tough to actually accomplish (at least if you're an overthinker like me). While I'm not always great at being in the moment, I can tune in to my senses to at least get a moment or two in the present.
For me, this usually means looking around to see what I'm grateful for, but it can also be any of my other senses. It's really about being here in this moment and appreciating what I have.
I Take Photos of What I Love
I'm a photographer, so I take a ton of pictures. My main subject is my family because that's what speaks to my heart and makes me feel the most grateful. But you don't have to be a photographer to use photos as a way to appreciate your life.
One of the great things about having a phone with us all the time is that we all carry cameras pretty much everywhere we go. It's easy to grab your phone and snap a photo of something you're grateful for — could be your kid, your pet, your dinner, or the flowers you saw on your walk.
Photos aren't the only way to notice and mark things we appreciate. You can also do this by journaling or writing in another way. Or you could make an audio recording of sounds you love with your phone.
I Reframe Hardship With Gratitude
This is a big one for me, something I learned with that scary surgery. When things are really hard and I feel myself getting panicked or sad or just feeling terrible, I look for what I appreciate. This seems counterintuitive since the bad things aren't really something we usually appreciate. But my experience has taught me that they're opportunities. This doesn't have to be a life-or-death sort of bad thing, either. Even if you're only feeling a little under the weather or just had a friend cancel your coffee date, it's a chance to feel better using appreciation.
To do this, I recognize the challenge and how I'm feeling about it. Then I think about what it gives me or what I've had that I was grateful for. When my grandma died (we were very close), I was comforted by my appreciation for the wonderful relationship we had. When my kids got sick with the flu, I appreciated that I had a flexible job schedule so I could stay home with them. Every hardship, big or little, is a chance to appreciate.
Appreciation Is a Powerful Tool
As I learned with my surgery all those years ago, gratitude is powerful. It can transform something hard into something we can handle, but it's also a daily practice that lets us find real joy in our real lives. Getting into the habit of appreciation makes your life better.
