There are no words that fully describe what it feels like to become a mother for the first time, but there are some things you can say that will help encourage a new mom. Let the newest member of the mom club know what a great job she's doing and show her she has all of your support.
Help a New Mom With Words of Encouragement
As she's adjusting to life with a newborn and learning what her new normal looks like, you can offer words of encouragement and support to a brand new mom. Here are some ideas of what to say to a when you call her or stop by for a visit.
I'm so excited to meet your little one, but I'm also here to see and help you.
Motherhood looks beautiful on you!
I can see how much you love your baby.
I can already tell that you're a wonderful mom.
What you're doing is not an easy task, but you're doing it so well!
Your baby is beautiful! I am so glad to know you both and feel so privileged to be a part of your journey.
Your baby is so fortunate to have you as their mom.
I would love to lend a hand while I'm visiting. Can I fold some laundry or make a meal for you?
These first few weeks are tough, but there is so much to look forward to and you will find your new normal before you know it.
It's okay to feel a wide range of emotions. You've just experienced a life-changing event.
Things might feel overwhelming right now, but it gets easier.
I'm so excited to visit, but please know that I can leave whenever you're ready or stay as long as you need me.
Tell me your favorite comfort meal and I'll drop it off.
I'm stopping by later this week to drop off food, so tell me what you are craving most.
I'm in the neighborhood - do you need anything?
I have some free time this afternoon. Can I hold the baby while you catch a nap?
I'm so excited to meet your baby, but I'm also here to help you. What can I do?
You're doing even better than you think you are.
Send Her a Thoughtful Note or Card
If you're sending a card to a new mom to congratulate her before you're able to visit in person, you can include a thoughtful note that will help her feel loved and seen. A reassuring note or message in a card means a lot when you're facing a big life change.
If you aren't sending a physical note, one of these kind messages might be just as appreciated in a text or brief email.
Congratulations on becoming a mom! I know you're already rocking this new chapter in life.
You've done a wonderful job bringing your baby into the world. You are strong and capable. You got this, mama!
It's okay to have moments of sadness or struggle in this season. Every mom experiences a rollercoaster of emotions when she first steps into motherhood.
If you ever need to talk, I'm always here to listen.
You're doing a great job, even on the days you feel you're not.
Welcome to motherhood! None of us are perfect at this job, but it's the best one in the world.
You did it, Mama! You are so strong!
I'm thinking of you and I'm here for anything you might need.
Welcome to the mom club! It's full of strong and loving women just like you.
You've done an incredible thing, mama. You deserve to be celebrated.
Supportive Tips for What to Say to a New Mom
It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new baby, because new babies are exciting! But keep in mind that during this time, moms need support and encouragement more than ever before.
Voice What an Awesome Job She's Doing
Verbalize your celebration and admiration for this new mama. Let her know what a wonderful job she's doing and how easy it is to notice. Celebrate her with affirmations and praise for the hard work she's putting into this new role and the journey she took to get here.
Tell Her About All the Good Things Ahead
When babies come into the world, it's really easy for moms to get overwhelmed by all the really hard things that come with new motherhood. Too often these new moms hear about how much harder things will get as the baby enters toddlerhood and other milestones.
Reassure her with a reminder that even though the newborn stage is very difficult, things get easier with time. Give specific examples of all the things she has to look forward to as her little one grows.
Share Your Own Experience in a Helpful Way
Unsolicited advice might not be the best thing to offer to a mom in the trenches of postpartum and newborn days. But if you can share your own experience in a truly positive, helpful, and encouraging way, you might help her see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Avoid chatting about the actual things you did for your own newborn (breastfeeding, nap schedules, and pacifier use). Instead, offer some details on how you felt during the newborn stage and what things helped you feel more capable, comfortable, and confident as a mom.
Send Special Gifts Just for the New Mom
Giving a new mom a gift that focuses on her and her well-being can go a long way to encourage her. And they don't have to be extravagent, either.
Give Her a Comforting Gift
This new mama is probably swimming in gifts for the baby. Give a gift specifically for her that will help her feel comfortable and beautiful during the first few weeks of being a mom.
Give her a beautiful lounge set that's comfy but still feels nice enough to wear if she has visitors or is on her way to the pediatrician.
Gift a new robe that helps her cover up when needed, but keeps her cool as she's battling night sweats and hormone changes.
Buy her some new pajamas that help her feel comfortable and beautiful.
Give her slippers or a set of socks.
She's probably overwhelmed with baby blankets, so buy one for her that is cozy and fits the aesthetic in her home.
Offer her a book that encourages new moms with helpful advice, comforting reminders, or relatable stories.
Finish Her Registry
If you want to give a gift with practical purpose, look at what's left on the baby registry. Chances are there are a few items that haven't been purchased yet and you can send them along as a celebratory gift that's also sensible.
Create a DIY Care Package
Give Her a Helping Hand
New moms deserve celebration and they often need a bit of help as they're adjusting to this new life chapter. Offer helpful tasks and favors that really make a difference in her day and help her feel supported and confident as she tackles the challenges of motherhood.
Ask Her What She Needs
Though many of the basic needs of a new mom are obvious, every new mom experiences things differently. Ask her for specific things she needs and could use help with. If she's hesitant to share, assure her you would love to have something to offer her and you want to make sure it's in line with what she needs most.
Offer specific suggestions of things you can help with, so she feels more comfortable voicing her needs. Rather than telling her to notify you when she needs help, let a new mom know the things you're willing to do and when you're available, so she knows you're already committed to offering her support.
Ask About Her Preferences
Moms have a lot on their mind when they're bringing that new baby home. You can assure her you will respect her preferences and boundaries as a new parent. Ask her ahead of time when she prefers visitors and what time of day she would rather avoid contact.
Get a good understanding of her boundaries around holding the baby, wearing strong perfumes and fragrances, asking personal questions, and sanitation practices. When she knows that you'll respect her boundaries and honor her mothering choices, she will probably feel more excited to welcome visitors.
Take Care of Meals
This is a simple and traditional way of celebrating a new mama and making sure she's taken care of. Before you drop off a meal, reach out to mom or her partner and ask about allergies and taste preferences.
Be conscious of foods that might not be the best for nursing mamas or women who have had c-sections. Try to include something that's filling and nutritious to help her recover. You can also provide one of her favorite comfort foods to help her feel loved and seen as others focus on the baby.
Take Care of Basic Housework
Holding the baby is fun, but what mom often needs most is help with the tasks she isn't able to do while feeding or caring for her little one. Communicate to her that you would love to spend an afternoon taking care of housework on her behalf.
Ask her to make a list and choose a time that works best for her schedule. Then tackle anything from laundry and meal prep to cleaning the bathroom and changing the bed sheets.
Do a Grocery Pick Up
This is one of the easiest ways you can support a new mama with a practical gift. Ask mom or another family member what they need to restock their refrigerator and pantry. You can do the grocery shopping yourself and offer an additional gift by footing the bill.
Another option is asking mom to place a grocery pick up order and offer to stop by and grab it for her. Maybe consider picking up a coffee on the way to drop the groceries off as well.
Offer a Day or Night of Babysitting
If you're close to mom and love to care for babies, this is your chance to provide a truly priceless gift. Offer to come by for a daytime stay so you can help keep the baby happy while mom rests. Go that extra mile if you have a close relationship and spend a night taking care of the baby while the tired new parents try to get a full night of sleep.
Help Her Practice Self Care
Self care is so important after having a baby, but it's also difficult to prioritize during those chaotic first few weeks of motherhood. Help mom find time to take care of herself and her body during those tough first weeks.
Offer breaks so she can take the time to have a long shower, grab a nap, or enjoy an uninterrupted meal. Give her gifts that help her feel pampered and beautiful. Luxurious self-care items, mom-approved recovery care items, and aromatherapy products can help her feel relaxed and restored.
Quality time with her partner might be another form of self-care for a new mom, so help her carve out some time to spend with the one she loves. Just being present for diaper changes and cuddles can help mom enjoy an episode of a show or a meal with her partner.
Offer Your Presence
Sometimes what a new mom needs most is just emotional support and someone to sit with her as she wrestles with the rollercoaster of new motherhood. Let her know that you are happy to just sit with her in the silence or spend some time chatting about how she's feeling. Reassure her that she doesn't need to entertain you or make small talk and that you're fine to just be a quiet companion during her day.
Validate Her Feelings
One of the most heartbreaking things a new mom could face is a judgemental comment or misguided advice when she voices how she feels. New motherhood brings every emotion imaginable and it often feels isolating and overwhelming.
If she voices her feelings, be sure to validate them. Remind her that most moms feel those strong emotions and give specific examples of what a great job she's doing as a new mom.
Offer Help & Encouragement From a Distance
If you live far away and aren't able to make a trip to see mom and baby, you can still offer a wide range of support and encouragement that will make a huge impact as this new mom starts the journey of a lifetime.
Send money through an app so the new parents can grab a meal.
Pay for housecleaning services (or other services as gifts) for a day or week.
Send a care package for mom and baby.
Pop a gift card in the mail for food, baby items, or a place you know mom loves to shop.
Send flowers or a treat from a local bakery.
Text mom and let her know you're thinking of her and you're free to chat if she needs a friend.
Let her know you're free for middle-of-the-night calls if she needs advice or emotional support.
Assure Her of Your Love & Support
Regardless of how you choose to encourage a new mom or offer her help, make sure you reassure her she has your love and support. Motherhood comes with a long list of decisions, learning curves, and moments of doubt. Let her know she has no reason to doubt your admiration as she finds her footing in motherhood.