How to Change Friend Groups in High School

Published April 22, 2019
Girl considering changing friend group

You think that your friends are always going to be there for you but sometimes that's just not true. There are times when you need to change your friends. This might be for your own mental health or because you've become interested in a new hobby. Whatever the case, learn why you might need to change friend groups and how you can do it in a positive way.

Why Would You Change Your Friends?

High school is about evolving. Not only are you exploring what you want to do with your life in adulthood, you're finding your passions and figuring out who you are. Maybe your friends don't like your love interest, or you just aren't into shopping as much as you used to be. This means that your friends might change. There are lots of reasons that you might need to change your friend groups including:

  • Toxic behaviors
  • Behavior clashes
  • Changing goals
  • Love interest
  • Hobbies
  • Work-life
  • Maturity
  • Drama

The reason that you choose to change can be very personalized or general. However, learning how to do it in a way that won't hurt others or yourself is key.

How to Find New Friends

Sometimes you integrate into a new friend group naturally like everyone having the same hobby or interest in a certain type of music. But if you are leaving an old friend group because of fighting or toxicity, then you might need to seek out new friends. Don't get nervous or think you are going to be alone forever, finding a new friend group can be as easy as a few clicks.

Social Media

Whether it be Snapchat, Instagram or Facebook, these can help you to find a new circle of friends. Seek out online groups in your area for teens that are interested in the same things as you. For example, if you're artistic, you can find artistic friends in your area. Like Snaps of kids around you or check out some pics on IG to find new friends. You can also use apps to make your social circle bigger. You might try apps like AddMe to get new friends. Social media means you won't be lonely for long.

Join a New Club

Are you interested in French? Join the French Club. Is science more your flavor? STEM can open up a whole new world for you. Not only will you meet new people, but you could very well find your new BFF. Clubs aren't limiting either. Join clubs that fall outside of your comfort zone. You'll be very surprised by the new people that you meet.

Volunteers working on construction site

Take a Leadership Role

If your friends are going down a path that you don't want to follow, take a drastic turn to the right and try out a leadership role. You could choose to join student council or become a student leader. Not only will this open up opportunities for making some amazing friendships, you'll gain invaluable life skills as well.

Get a Job

You'd be surprised at how much you realize that you have in common with someone when you spend four to eight hours in a day with them at work. While the paycheck is a big perk, you get to know different people around your area. You never know, you might start hanging out with your work buddies before and after your shifts.

Talk to Someone New

This might seem like a no-brainer, but if you've had the same friends since elementary school, it might not occur to you to talk to those around you in class. It's surprise what kind of friendships that you can develop from one simple conversation. You might have more in common with the person sitting behind you in English class than you realized.

Join an Organization

Do you want to be a nurse after high school? Consider volunteering at the Red Cross or a student nursing association. Need summer friends, consider joining a summer organization. By joining an outside organization, you can find new friends that have the same interests as you.

Joining a New Friend Group

Becoming accepted into a new friend circle isn't as hard as you might think. Lots of times if you connect with one person, they will invite you to do things with their other friends. That way you can find out if you click with the other people as well.

  • Invite a person out for Starbucks or just to hang out.
  • Create a group outing like a movie night.
  • Have friends over to chill and listen to music.
  • Join a competition together.
  • Attend a seminar together.
  • Go to a concert.
  • Hang out together after work.
  • Go to a poetry slam.
  • Check out a comedy show.

Most importantly, spend time with your new friends doing things together that you enjoy.

Leaving Your Old Friends Behind

It's hard to not get hurt feelings when you leave a group of friends, especially if you have known each other for a long time. First of all, you don't need to cut out your old friend group completely. Unless they are toxic to you, then you can just choose to hang out with them less. Friendships have wiggle room; everyone knows that things change. While your friends might get a little hurt in the beginning, true friends will understand that you're going to change and drift apart. This is part of life. There is no need to feel guilty about finding new friends. But you don't want to treat your old friends badly either. Make sure to text them back and try not to avoid them in the halls. You might even enjoy a coffee together after school.

Making New Friends

You might think that the friends that you have now are going to be your BFFs for life. While that would be fabulous, high schoolers change. Not only are your interests evolving but you're getting closer to adulthood. Therefore, that friend that you had in fifth grade just might not mesh with you anymore. Instead find friends that "get" you now.

How to Change Friend Groups in High School