When you've got hundreds of kids staring you down, bright lights in your face, and the worst case of jitters the school stage's felt in weeks, take a breath. You can always rely on the funny student council speech you've worked so hard on crafting to perfection to get you through.
So many people can be naturally funny without trying too hard, so if you just relax and let your natural humor shine through in your student council speech, you'll do great. But if you've glued your pinky to the backspace trying to write yours, let us help you with these tips and ideas.
Funny Student Council Speech Intros for Specific Roles
When you're running for a student council position, all you've got is your words. So, you need to write a speech that students will remember long after you've graduated. After you've pitched around some speech ideas for your student council role, it's time to put pen to paper (or fingers to the keys). And what's the best way to get an audience on your side? With laughter, of course.
Funny President Speech Intro Example
The other candidates are going to come up here and tell you all the reasons why you should vote for them. I'm going to give you only one reason why you should vote for me. I've got the face of an angel.
Think about it, every time I ask for your concerns, give a speech, or land an interview in the school paper, you're going to have to look at my face. If you want to make this year and school politics Instagram-worthy, consider just whose face you want to stare at every day, mine or theirs.
Hilarious Vice President Speech Opener
My competitors have come up here and given you a laundry list of reasons why they should be elected VP, so I'll keep things short. I'm the brains behind this operation, and I'll marionette puppet our president better than Ratatouille and his little rat hands ever could. Whatever you want, I'll work those strings to make it happen.
Silly Secretary Speech Intro
Your student council secretary really needs to love words. I love words so much that I'll only eat Alpha-Bits for breakfast. And what's more, I'll only eat the cereal letters I can use to make a word. So, say there's a "T," "Q," and "R" left in the bowl; I can't bring myself to swallow them.
I love pencils so much that I fail every automatically graded exam because I can't bring myself to damage the pencil by using it. I love writing so much that I've got a physical therapist on speed dial for my carpal tunnel.
Comical Treasurer Speech Opener
If time is money, we're all going to be very rich after this speech. I'm not sure who's responsible for the exchange rate, but I hope it's a good one. As treasurer, I take money lingo just as seriously as I do sticking to our budget, and unlike Al Capone, I won't bust our operation with faulty books and tax fraud.
Funny Student Council Speech Intros That'll Win Everyone Over
One of the biggest tips for writing a speech is to connect with your audience on their level. Your classmates will probably respond well to fun and humor, so give your speech a dose of comedy and break the ice with a funny intro.
- Mr. Smith, our beloved math teacher, told us all that we'd use trigonometry one day. I think he's an awesome teacher and I really want him to be right. So, my entire speech will cover things that are opposite and adjacent to the issues of our school, and that will lead me on a tangent.
- When you hear the words "Student Council," you probably envision a bunch of old, bald, white guys sitting around wearing suits with ties and talking about all the problems students cause in the world. Today, to help me get through my stage fright, I'm asking you to imagine me as one of those guys. Preferably, I hope you picture Will Farrel as Mattel's CEO.
- Today, I'm here to taco 'bout something serious and I've been trying to figure out how to get your vote. You might think school rules and student privileges are nacho business, but you'd be wrong. I won't try to get jalapeño business or get saucy, and I certainly won't burrito around the bush. If you want this year to feel like a fiesta, vote for me for President. In queso you still haven't figured it out, I'm the best woman for the job.
- Everyone, let's take a moment of silence. [Pause]. Thank you for joining me in that moment of silence for the competition that I'm going to slaughter at the ballot box this week.
- (Pointing phone at the crowd) [High School Name] STUDENT BODY! Let's make some noise for my lovely competition — they've worked so hard — and give yourselves a round of applause for appointing someone as awesome as me to your student council. (Puts phone away.) So I'd like to thank my mother who, without her, I wouldn't be here today, and my father of course, because there's part of him in here too...(dramatic pause). OH, oh sorry everybody, those were my acceptance speech cards. Let me just pull out the right ones here.
Creative Ways to Sprinkle Some Humor into Your Speech
Speech starters aren't the only places you can toss in a little funny line or two. There are a ton of ways you can incorporate humor into your student council speech to break the ice, grab everyone's attention, or stand out from the crowd. These are just a few of them:
Poke a Little Good-Natured Fun at a Staff Member
There's nothing teens find funnier than cleverly making fun of their teachers and principals. Just be sure to only poke fun at the ones you know will take the joke well, and keep it good-natured and lighthearted.
End an Info-Heavy Section With a Witty One-Liner
As a teen, you know kids have short attention spans (curse you TikTok), so you'll start to lose them after a while. Keep their attention by ending any information-heavy section with a funny one-liner. It's hard to stay snoozing when you're laughing.
It's totally ok to use jokes in a student council speech, but remember the goal of using jokes and humor is to connect with your peers, so make sure they're things that everyone will actually find funny and not anything that could be hurtful or upsetting.
Don't Rush the Delivery
If you've got a line you just know is going to make everyone laugh, don't pull the wind from its sails by speeding through it. People tend to talk faster the longer they're presenting, so make sure your joke lands by pulling back and easing into the delivery.
Add Something Funny or Unexpected to a Serious Sentence
If you're listing some of the genuine things you bring to the table for your desired student council position, grab everyone's attention by throwing a funny one on at the end.
Tell a True Funny Story From Your Childhood
Talking about something funny that really happened to you, especially if it's related to the student council role you want in some way, can be a creative and memorable way to stand out. For example, the lemonade stand disaster you had as a kid might just make you a shoo-in for treasurer. After all, you learned from your mistakes.
End the Speech With a Joke or Funny Slogan
You can also use a joke or a funny slogan at the end of your student council speech to help make it memorable. A funny, relatable slogan that helps people remember you could have a positive impact when it comes time to vote.
Hook 'Em With Humor for a Winning Speech
The secret for how to win a high school election isn't stuffing the ballot box or teen comedy movie-ing your way to making the competition drop out. Instead, it's about being memorable and connecting with your peers. A funny opening line or hilarious closing one will not only capture their attention, but it'll have them thinking about you when they step up to that ballot box.