Tips to Get Started With Online Dating (& Hints for Picking a Site)

Knowing what you want in a dating site can help you find the perfect fit (and maybe a great date too).

Updated October 22, 2024
Couple on a date

A lot of people meet online these days, but with all the sites and all the ways this type of dating is different than traditional ways, it can feel a little overwhelming. Getting started with online dating mostly comes down to knowing what you want and learning the etiquette and intricacies of this kind of interaction. You'll find it's actually pretty natural way to interact, once you get into it.

Jump Into Online Dating

Online dating can be somewhat intimidating at first. There are a ton of site options, and each site has its own pricing package with different perks, website tools, and target demographics. Amy Z., who was nervous about online dating at first, said, "Don't knock it until you try it." She is set to marry her fiance at the end of the year who she met on Bumble. Before checking out a site think about:

  • How much you are willing to pay on a monthly basis
  • Which tools are the most important to you (online chatting, picture sharing)
  • How you want to set up your profile
  • Whether you want to take a personality quiz beforehand
  • What sort of website rules and protective measures are important to you
  • What you want your profile page to look like
  • If you'd prefer to join a larger network, or smaller more specific site
  • What type of relationship you're looking for

Related: Examples of How to Introduce Yourself in Online Dating Apps

Select an Online Dating Site

Even a decade ago, there were around 8,000 online dating sites worldwide, but today, that number is even higher. The thing is, so many options can make finding the perfect site even trickier.

Quick Tip

Not sure which site you want to start with? If your friends have used certain dating apps or sites, ask about their impression of them. This can help you narrow down your choices.

A great way to figure out which site will work best for you is to sign up for a few sites at once and utilize their free tools. Spend some time perusing, and when you've found one that seems to fit your needs, you can consider paying for a subscription so you can unlock helpful tools. You can also ditch the other sites once you've found one that you really like, as joining a bunch of sites at once can be very overwhelming and hard to keep up with.

You'll know a site works for you if:

  • You find the site easy to use and intuitive.
  • You like how profiles are set up.
  • You're comfortable using the online chat tools.
  • You have the ability to block or report inappropriate users easily.
  • You see other users who share your interests also on the site.

Tips to Get the Most Out of Online Dating Sites

Sites have more or less popularity in certain geographical areas. "It's a numbers game," said Erika D., so download sites that other users in your area are also on. This ensures you will meet someone who actually lives near you, instead of potentially beginning a long distance relationship.

Erika D. also notes that online dating has a lot to do with effort saying," You can't expect to get much out of it if you don't put anything into it." With that in mind, we've got a few tips:

  • Use your profile to portray who you are and ask friends and family to take a peak at it.
  • Expect to feel overwhelmed, excited, annoyed, and frustrated - possibly all at once. Starting to date can feel like a whirlwind.
  • You may get inundated with messages and matches and not know where or how to start. If that happens, allot yourself 10 minutes every day and respond to people who interest you the most.
  • Don't spread yourself too thin in terms of responding to a larger amount of people. Try to focus in on the people who you feel the most drawn to.

How to Make a Good Impression Online

Woman laughing at text message

Even though it can seem more difficult to connect online than in person, it's really not. The key is to try to be as genuine as possible.

  • Show off your funny or sarcastic side if that's typical for you.
  • Try to keep conversations pretty equal in terms of sharing. If you feel like they are asking a bunch of getting to know you questions, respond while taking interest in learning more about them.
  • If you're shy or nervous, remember that people generally like answering questions about themselves, so feel free to direct the conversation to be more about them until you feel more comfortable.
Quick Tip

Try not to change anything fundamental about your personality to fit in or get someone to like you more. It is best to try to connect with those that get who you are and like you for it.

Enjoy Online Dating

Whether you are looking for a casual relationship or somone who is marriage material, online dating can be a great way to meet like-minded people. It's all about knowing what you want in a site and a partner, so start off slowly and have fun getting to know other users.

Tips to Get Started With Online Dating (& Hints for Picking a Site)