It is oh-fish-al! We've scaled the world's oceans, rivers, and lakes and caught some fin-omenal fish jokes that are guaranteed to split some gills. If perch-ance you need some persuasion, take a swim through these silly fish jokes and puns and let us know your thoughts when you are fin-ished!
Fish Jokes That Will Have Your Audience Hooked
For those floundering to find funny jests about the most famous of water dwellers, here are some fish jokes that are betta than the rest!
What did the fish and Cinderella have in common?
They both had a fairy cod mother!
Why did the fish get grounded?
Because his grades were below sea level!
Where does a salmon keep its cash?
In the riverbank!
How did the hammerhead do on his final exam?
He nailed it!
Where is a shark's favorite place to live?
There was a minnow lurking around the reef...
The other fish found it to be a little fishy.
What kind of candy should sharks avoid?
There was a bad boating accident…
Thankfully, there was a sturgeon present!
What did the minnow minister say to the two salmon getting married?
Congratulations! You are o-fish-ially hooked for life!
Do you know what it's like to swim upstream?
No, but Alaska salmon!
There was a fight at Long John Silver's...
The fish went through a real battering.
Why did the puffer fish have to attend anger management classes?
Because he seemed to blow up at other fish for no reason!
How do musicians tuna fish?
They adjust their scales!
Why did the fish couple move to a smaller place?
They were scaling things back after their minnows moved out!
Why was the Great White Shark under investigation?
He had a fish-ious reputation.
How do fish pay for things?
They use sand dollars!
Why are fish bad at soccer?
They are afraid of the net!
Which fish always wins in a fencing match?
Colorful Clownfish Jokes and Silly Starfish Jokes
Enough clowning around! Even the ocean's biggest comedians and celebrities will appreciate these puns.
Why did Nemo have bad grades?
Because he was always clowning around in class!
What game should you never challenge of starfish to?
A star-ing contest.
What is a clown fish's favorite proverb?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer!
Which fish have to worry about paparazzi?
Why do sharks not like to eat clown fish?
Because they always seem to taste a bit funny!
Why should you be cautious about becoming friends with a clown fish?
Because they sometimes have big anemones!
Why do starfish not always get along with other sea creatures?
They tend to be a bit star-castic!
What did Dori say about Marlin's joke?
Good g-reef you are funny! Remind me why that is?
Fishing Jokes That'll Have Everyone Reeling With Laughter
Hook, line, and sinker! These jokes are sure to lure in an audience and catch them by surprise.
What did the gambling fisherman say to his friends on the river?
Does anyone want to place a bait?
Why did the shrimper and the fisherman become business partners?
Because they were pulling in a huge net income!
What is the best way to get a hold of a fish?
You drop a line!
What did the Pope say when he caught his first fish?
What is a magician fisherman's favorite line?
Pick a cod, any cod!
Aquarium Puns That'll Have You Boxed in With Giggles
Still circling the fishbowl for water-creature witticisms? We have some awesome aquarium jokes for you to float through!
What did the sign say at the aquarium decor sale?
No reef-unds allowed!
Why will you only find veteran fish in aquariums?
Because they are the only fish who know how to drive a tank!
Why did the aquarium get detention?
Because it had no filter!
What do you call an aquarium with no fish?
Shellfish Jokes to Make Everyone Less Crabby
Just remain clam! We have some espe-shell-y funny jokes that are guaranteed to crack a smile.
Why did the shellfish have to leave the gym?
He pulled a mussel!
Why did the crab love the pandemic?
Because he was already a hermit!
Why are lobsters bad at sharing?
They can be a little shellfish!
Where did the oyster go to sell his pearl?
The prawn shop!
Who is a crustacean's favorite painter?
Leonardo da Pinchi!
Why did the shellfish choose to drive a Dodge Charger?
He loved mussel cars!
Why is Christmas a crab's favorite holiday?
Because Santa Claws comes to visit!
Why did the crab cross the Overseas Highway?
To get to the other tide!
Fin-tastic Fish Puns & Idioms
Don't be gill-ty of posting a bad caption! Seas the day with these outstanding one-liners.
- Just keep swimming
- Any fin is possible
- Things are going swimmingly
- Feeling like a fish out of water
- Let minnow your thoughts
- Feeling lika a big fish in a small pond
- Looking betta every day!
- Casting a wider net
- The clam before the storm
- Let's shell-ebrate!
- Can you be more pacific?
- Carp-e diem!
- Don't play koi with me!
Catch Laughs With Fish Jokes
Cod you find anything better than this kriller list of fish-themed quips and puns? We didn't think so! Thanks for giving us the oppor-tuna-ty to grace you with these reel-ly funny fish jokes. If you want more laughs, then check out these jests surrounding one of the biggest enemies of the fish - bears! Or, stay at sea and check out some hilarious pirate jokes!