Crafting the perfect first message for online dating apps can induce a cold sweat in even the most confident people. While you might feel overwhelmed by the contradicting advice on what to say first, the best opening lines to introduce yourself should be genuine to your personality. Everyone can be a little funny, charming, witty, silly, inquisitive, and more, and potential dates want to see the things that make you unique shine through in your words.
While there are a ton of good first message examples out there, you don't want to settle for something that everyone's heard before. Take the basic formulas for the messages you like and reorganize them to fit your voice and style for a memorable introduction. Customizing is key when it comes to starting a conversation on a dating app or online, and there's always room to play around with even the best opening lines ever. Maybe you've used a great "about me" example to create your profile; now be yourself, be original, and have confidence in your online dating approach.
Best Opening Lines for Online Dating Sites
When you're looking at someone's profile, and you want to connect and introduce yourself, one problem you'll run into a lot is that they probably get a lot of messages. So, it begs the question of how to make yourself stand out from the crowd when everyone has a different idea of what that perfect first message for online dating is? If you're being genuine about your interests and personality, you can't really go wrong. In fact, asking a question that connects to something on their profile or offering up information about your hobbies and passions is a go-to option that everyone should have in their pocket.
To master the first message, try these good opening lines that'll ignite a spark right away:
- Hey, what's your opinion on Daylight Savings Time [or another quirky controversy]?
- Hey! What's the worst pick-up line you've ever been sent on here?
- Hi there, you look like you've got great taste in music. Any good recommendations?
- Astrology is cool and all but which Beanie Baby do you share a birthday with?
- Gut Reaction - pineapple on pizza, yes or no?
Best Conversation Starters to Make an Instant Connection
Introducing yourself in-person is scary enough, but trying to make an impression online or through a phone screen is practically impossible. So, when the rubber meets the road and you need to make a good first impression, here are a variety of ways to start a new conversation when meeting someone on a dating app or online.
List Your Top Three Things
What are three things you couldn't survive without? Assuredly, some pretty interesting things come to mind, and one way to connect with your match is to share your top must-haves and ask about theirs. This is a great quick and personal way to learn some details about each other and naturally develop the conversation further. A few examples of the way you can begin your first message are:
- I can't live without cheese, the Dodgers, and a really good pair of Nikes. How about you? What can't you live without?
- In order to be happy, I absolutely must have my favorite unicorn t-shirt, my camera, and great coffee. What three things do you need?
- I'm addicted to binge watching Stranger Things, reading historical fiction, and dying my hair funky colors. What three things are you addicted to?
Share Something From Their Bio
Show your match that you're actually paying attention to their profile and not just aimlessly swiping for a good time by picking a detail from their bio and incorporating it into a question. If the person has an interesting dating site username, that's another option to consider commenting on too. Personalize these examples, and you may be surprised at the funny and interesting conversations that follow. For instance, you could ask:
- I see you love Star Wars. I do too! Do you like the original episodes better or the new ones?
- You went to the University of Michigan four years after I did! Which dorm were you in?
- I love hiking too. What's the best hike you've been on lately?
- That's one of my favorite bands/artists as well. What's your favorite song?
Comment on the Match
If you're using a more traditional online dating site, then you were probably matched by their algorithm. If so, it picked up on some things you had in common and can help you know exactly what to say in your introduction. Use those commonalities to your advantage and position them as the perfect icebreaker to get the conversation started:
- I see we're a potential match! I bet it's because we both like getting out in nature so much. What's your favorite place to go?
- Looks like the site matched us, so we must have a lot in common. I love Italian food too. Have you been to the new restaurant downtown?
- I'm guessing the site matched us because we both like cooking, but I bet we have more than that in common. What else are you into?
Best Thoughtful Opening Lines for Online Dating Conversations
Some people love to bypass frivolity and get straight to deeper stuff. If you're one of those, then your first message is going to be chock full of interesting and complex topics. Pose questions about causes you support or current events that're cycling the news. Ponder philosophical quandaries and the possibilities of space together. After all, it's not what to say with good opening lines, but rather, what not to say.
- Climate change really has been doing a number on our planet, what's your go-to way to make a difference?
- If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?
- I don't have synesthesia, but your profile is really giving me crimson red vibes. Does anything pop out about mine?
- If you could start a global conspiracy theory (knowing that it was fake) what would it be?
Funny First Message Examples for Online Dating
A memorable way to form a connection is to make someone laugh, but the key difficulty is making someone you don't actually know yet get a case of the giggles. You can try a one-line joke or a clever icebreaker as a starting point or use one of these funny first message examples to win them over:
- If someone has a photo with a pet in it, you might say, "You have the most beautiful fur and whiskers I've ever seen, and your human is pretty cute too."
- You can ask a silly Would You Rather question, such as, "Would you rather be cursed with glitter raining down on you all the time or be forced to eat nothing but potato chips for a week?"
- Make a joke about your job or college major to show you don't take the stereotypes too seriously, such as, "I'm an English major, but I promise I won't be correcting your grammar. What was your major?"
Poke Fun at Yourself With Great Conversation Starters
Getting started with online dating can feel awkward enough, and it's fine to acknowledge that jump-starting a conversation isn't always easy. However, If you can poke fun at yourself in your opening lines, you'll exude a sense of approachable confidence anyone will be happy to respond to. Take these self-deprecating examples, for instance:
- You're so pretty, and I'm totally stressing about how to start a conversation with you. I'm just going to keep it simple. Would you like to grab coffee sometime?
- Even just looking at your photo gives me butterflies, but I have to ask, would you be up for a movie?
- You're obviously a way better runner than I am, but would you be willing to slow your pace a little and go for a run on Saturday?
How to Start a Great First Conversation When Online Dating
No matter what opening lines you use when you enter the world of online dating, the hard work isn't over. Don't forget to keep the conversation going if your first message established a strong connection between the two of you, and a list of getting-to-know-you questions can pave the way for smooth sailing ahead. So long as you do a little preparation and find a little inspiration, your first conversation is sure to be a great one.