8 Things to Do When You Miss Your Ex Instead of Texting Them

Everyone's guilty of missing their ex once in a while. Harness the willpower to resist their temptation with these eight powerful things to do.

Published June 11, 2024
Depressed Teenage Girl Sitting On Bed At Home Looking At Mobile Phone

Hindsight and nostalgia are a powerful combination, and together they conjure up the worst predicament — missing your ex. Whatever love you had for them gets amplified by those good memories and can make you miss them something awful. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. If you’re wondering what to do when you miss your ex, look no further. We’ve got eight remedies to combat your lovesickness.

8 Things to Do When You Miss Your Ex

Whether things are still fresh or it’s been in your rearview mirror for ages, we’ve got eight substitutes for reconnecting with your ex that’ll give you all the warm and fuzzies you want.

Write a List of the Negatives in That Relationship

If the relationship is over, there had to be a few things that went awry. Sure, a little distance and some rose-colored glasses can make any past relationship seem all sunshiny and perfect. Stop yourself from playing the nostalgia game by writing a list of all the negative things from your past relationship.

No slight is too small for this list. Did they never move the laundry over from the dryer and cause it to spoil? Write it down. Just remember that the point of this exercise isn’t to demonize your ex. They could probably write up an equally long list of things they didn’t like about what you brought to the table in that relationship. It’s about pushing through nostalgia and remembering the reality of what navigating life with that person was really like.

Chances are, it’ll leave a sour enough taste in your mouth that you won’t be tempted to reach out.

Schedule a Date With Someone New

Sometimes, the underlying feeling behind why you’re missing your ex is that you’re lonely. Thankfully, you don’t have to stay lonely for long! Sure, scheduling a new date won’t bring back the deep intimacy you’d created with your ex right away. But it will soothe some of that ache.

Ask a Trusted Friend to Tell You No

If you lack impulse control or you’re not very disciplined and you’ve got a track record for reaching out to your exes, it might be time to phone a friend. Be honest with a close friend about how you can’t trust yourself to not reach out when you get caught up in your feelings.

Make a plan together for you to text or call them first before contacting your ex. They’ll then tell you no and advise you of all the reasons you shared about why you didn’t want to reconnect with them when you were a little more clear-headed. 

Brainstorm What You’re Looking for in a New Partner

People change over time. It’s natural for your tastes in romantic or sexual partners to change, too! If you’re clamoring for the familiarity of an old relationship, you might be floundering in romance because you haven’t figured out what you want now.

Clear up your romantic goggles by brainstorming the qualities you want in a new partner. What kind of person fits into your future plans? And do they resemble your ex in any way? Chances are — they probably couldn’t even pass for cousins.

Related: 90+ Breakup Captions to Help You Get Over Your Ex

Delete and Block Your Ex’s Number

People like to threaten that they’ll block someone, but that usually only extends to one or two social media platforms. If you’ve got frisky fingers, keep them under control by not only blocking their number but deleting it from your contacts entirely.

The extra steps it’ll take to hunt down their number by playing telephone with their friends or unblocking it in your settings might be enough of a deterrent.

Do Something You Really Love

If you’re wistfully dreaming about your ex, chances are your own life isn’t feeling very magical. Bring some self-esteem, confidence, and happy chemicals to your brain by doing something you absolutely love.

beautiful Asian woman Have fun sifting wheat flour make bread.

Bake a really complicated pastry, watch your favorite movie for the 40th time, or indulge in an expensive bottle of wine. There are other ways to inject joy into your life that don’t involve reliving the past with your ex.

Clear Your Head With Some Fresh Air

Mother Nature’s healing powers can’t be understated, especially when heartbreak is on the brain. If you’ve got that I-miss-my-ex ache in your gut, it’s time to put your phone on silent and take a walk outside. Even just sitting in the fresh air can do wonders for helping you clear your head and not make a rash decision.

Try an Activity That Takes a Lot of Concentration

Have you ever tried to wistfully pine over your ex when you’ve got 200+ stitches ahead of you on a crocheting pattern? Of course not. Activities that involve a lot of brainpower and focus can pull your brain away from a thought spiral.

If you feel yourself heading down a dangerous road, find something you have to focus on instead. Nothing like trying to finish a Sudoku puzzle to keep your head full of a pleasant white noise hum.

Related: Real Ways to Help a Friend Going Through a Breakup

3 Ways to Stop Missing Your Ex

It’s hard to believe when you’re crying over the life you thought you would have with one person that there will come a time when you stop missing them. But you will. Don’t let people tell you that time heals all wounds because that just isn’t true. But what does is doing esteemable acts, being authentic to yourself, and pursuing your real passions and dreams.

Complete Esteemable Acts

Part of the push and pull that comes with a break-up can be softened by building confidence and contentment back in yourself. But how do you feel good about your worth and your value? You do esteemable acts.

Accomplishing hard tasks, finally meeting a goal you’ve been putting off, or working to help others in your community are all esteemable acts. Pick activities that you admire other people for doing and try them out yourself. The more you contribute to your life, the more assured you are of your place in it. 

Don’t just say you have worth, prove it to yourself.

Embrace Your Authentic Self

Another way to grow so comfortable in your life that an ex doesn’t cross your mind is by being your authentic self. Often, we mold our personalities to better fit the people we’re around or our loved ones’ expectations. In some ways, we live our lives 50% or less on our terms.

Create a life worth living by staying true to who you are. Don’t settle for a marriage, children, classic 9 to 5, or high-paying career position if they don’t speak to you. Don’t siphon off parts of yourself to fit society’s expectations for you. Make the life you want to live because when you enjoy waking up every morning, you don’t have space for negative thoughts like missing your ex.

Pursue Your Passions & Dreams

Having long-term goals and passion projects can stop you from looking to the past and push you to focus on your future. Buy those concert tickets, pick out your next car, or keep tabs on that musical that’s coming to Broadway next year. Enjoy the things you love and continue making space to enjoy them in the future.

Need to Know

The more you have to look forward to, the less you’ll want to relieve the past.

Time to Look Ahead, Not Behind 

Listen, you’re not the first person to miss their ex, nor will you be the last. It’s a natural part of the healing process to linger on the positives of a past relationship. But missing your ex and reconnecting with them are two totally different things. You became exes for a reason, and if you’re struggling to keep that distance intact, try one of our surefire methods.

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8 Things to Do When You Miss Your Ex Instead of Texting Them